


Smoke and Mirrors

by Empress_of_Trash



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Character Death Not Shizuo/Izaya, Creepy Izaya, M/M, Murder, Murder-Suicide, My First Work in This Fandom, Mystery, Senpai Notice Me, Slow Burn, Stalking, This is kinda messed up, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unhealthy Relationships, Yandere, Yandere Izaya Orihara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-11-28 22:39:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11427717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress_of_Trash/pseuds/Empress_of_Trash
Summary: Izaya Orihara is in love with his Senpai. When he realizes someone else may take him away he does something about this. Now he must protect his Senpai, his monster, however he can.In which Izaya is Yan-chan from Yandere Simulator, Shizuo does not make a very good senpai, and a lot of people die or worse.





	1. Love

Izaya Orihara always knew he was strange. Slightly, different from those that surrounded him. It was small observations that built up over time that made him have this realization. He noticed he never quite reacted as the other children around him did. His parents had long treated him as if there was nothing out of the norm, though he had vague recollections of his father fussing and his mother reassuring him. Izaya as far as he knew was normal.

 

He had long assumed all humans felt like he did. He had recognized that his parents seemed to have a wider range of reactions and facial features, but they were grown ups. Separate beings that did things that Izaya could not quite understand.

 

It was when he entered school for the first time that he began to understand the sheer difference that was between himself and other children. Between himself and humans.

 

Izaya being the precocious child he was also quickly learned that these differences were quick to be noticed by others. And what was different was also what was also what was hated, ignored, and pitied. Izaya realized he did not truly care if his classmates did not like him or that he even heard some of his teachers call him creepy. What he did find himself finding uncomfortable was being forced to speak to the school counselor when his teachers became too concerned.

 

Standing out was becoming bothersome and interfering so Izaya made the decision to begin acting like other children. To become “normal”. He was not quite sure what adjustments his behavior needed though so he began to observe the other children in his class. If he could watch them he could see the difference between them and himself and begin to pretend to react accordingly. Izaya was a smart child, everyone at least agreed upon that, learning correct behaviors wouldn’t be any different than the manners his father taught him.

 

This decision to carefully observe his classmates was perhaps the single most important decision of his life. Children, in Izaya’s opinion, were the best of humanity. Because they were humanity at its most pure and full form without the trappings of society to disguise their honest feelings and emotions. Children expressed because they had yet to be taught otherwise.

 

By observing his classmates Izaya was introduced to the varied emotions that existed amongst humans. Rather than just learn to mimic Izaya became fascinated. His classmates taught him so much, revealing a range of emotions he had never experienced before on their faces.

 

One of the first observations he ever made was about a girl who had been much like Izaya, slightly different due to her accent. This had led to quiet bullying and teasing. The girl had been alienated and cried all the time. Izaya chose her for his observations because as someone who was also alone she stood out.

 

He could not understand how she could care about the words of others so much. And then she did something unexpected. She began to _change_. First her accent became less and less pronounced as she carefully began to mimic the voice of those around her. Then her curly hair began to be straightened. Slowly, she transformed herself into something more acceptable to others, by copying the other children. It was a plan like Izaya’s. But it was the feeling behind it that was different. The girl had truly begun to dislike herself and what’s more she thirsted for the approval of her tormentors. When she was accepted Izaya thought perhaps that was the end of what he could learn from her. Now she would fade into the background.

 

Instead something even more confusing happened. The girl began to bully others as well. Now that she was somewhere she wouldn’t be hurt rather than help others like her, she chose to hurt them the same way.

 

It made Izaya’s heart race and slowly, very slowly things began to change. It was like he was breathing for the first time. The more he observed his classmates. They more he saw and processed their highs and their lows, their joys and their sorrows. The way they twisted themselves to fit this way or that. The way they reacted to each other. The way some were slower at comprehending things.

 

It was a strange song he was picking apart and with each part he discovered he found more and more things he had missed.

 

A never ending mess of confusion and understanding.

 

And as Izaya learned more and more and feel into this overwhelming feeling of fascination and curiosity it was as if something in him suddenly clicked. His emotional range seemed to grow, his feelings of happiness and dislike and enjoyment and disappointment began to appear. He finally understood what he was missing.

 

And it was all thanks to them. His beautiful, confusing humans.

 

It was at this moment that Izaya lost his heart to humanity.

 

. . .

 

When he announced his love to his mother, she had been surprisingly calm about it.

 

In fact, when he first decided to inform her that he was in love her reaction was unexpected.

 

Izaya was used to his mother parenting him. He oftentimes had preferred her take on it. Where his father made it clear he loved him and fulfilled all the same tasks his mother did, such as helping assure his physical needs were taken care of and providing him with books and toys to keep his interests, it was always as if he was expecting something in return. With Izaya’s growing observations begin to seek beyond his classmates he now recognized what this behavior meant.

 

His father had always parented Izaya much like his classmates parents treated them. As if Izaya had been born a normal child with the emotional range he was adjusting to and learning all others seemed to have. His father had the expectation of emotion and perhaps love from his son. It had been confusing when he was too young to understand what was wanted of him.

 

His mother had never had that. Though she was always loving and open with her feelings, it was as if she had fully understood what Izaya was feeling. Or rather not feeling. She treated him without an expectation of attachment and that was interesting.

 

His mother was interesting.

 

Her reaction to his announcement of love was not disbelief or to laugh it away as he now understood would be normal.

 

No, her reaction was to pause, look him over, and smile.

 

Izaya would always remember her odd words that followed.

 

“Hm, that will make things a bit difficult. You’ve always been precocious, but to find love so early. Well, can’t be helped.” Her smile had only grown wider as she’d gotten to her knees to look Izaya in the face an overwhelming joy he long associated with his father gracing her face. “Oh, I still remember my first day in love. Your father was the only color in my world for the longest time.”

 

Her smile turned conspiratorial. “Of course, now I’ve grown to love other things, but the shock of the initial feeling is very sudden.”

 

She grabbed Izaya’s hands then face so bright at this and asked, “Who are they Iza-chan? An older boy you saw on the playground? A girl you sit beside? Anyone is fine, sweetheart. We love strongly and only once so it’s very important that you tell Okaa-chan so she can help you. You’re too young to do everything yourself right now.”

 

Izaya did not understand what exactly she meant by that. Couldn’t at that point and even as he grew older there were still many unanswered questions. He just knew that his mother believed his love to be true and that she was revealing an interesting side to herself. His mother he realized then was a human. An interesting human like the girl in class had been.

 

Izaya smiled then. A real one that was followed by a giggle as a light bubbly feeling entered his chest he would later identify as joy.

 

“Humans. I love all humans!”

 

And his mother, one of his most interesting humans? She had smiled.

 

“Then I’ll teach you how to make humans love you back.”

 

. . .

 

Thinking back on his childhood he know realized how silly he had been. His love of humans had not yet been fully grown. Not yet developed. Izaya hadn’t known what love was quite yet. Even the feelings that had grown in scope and depths for the first time paled into what he now felt and understood.

 

The love he’d experienced then was like gaining the ability to see the world in black and white after nothingness. Now, he could see everything in full color, hear the overwhelming music of the world, feel things with a depth and intensity it was almost painful. Izaya was drunk on this feeling. It was light and perfection. Even his own love for humanity had not faded away with this new discovery. It had intensified into something else, purer, more true.

 

After all Izaya was in love with a monster. A monster who wanted to be of all things human. A monster who clung so tightly to humanity it increased Izaya’s own appreciation of it. So, he had to show his love, to show his appreciation for all the things his monster was teaching him.

 

One of those myriad of new feelings that he was taught made him feel even closer to his monster. After all he was a personification of wrath itself. It only made sense that through Izaya’s love he would learn this first.

 

Rage. Anger. The desire to destroy something.

 

Almost the moment Izaya accepted his love these were experienced.

 

Because Izaya’s love, his position in his monster’s life, was being threatened.

 

And for the first time ever Izaya let his emotions control his judgement and he learned what hate truly felt like.

 

This girl who loved his monster would have to die.


	2. Senpai (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya stalks his Senpai from afar and close up.

It started like this.

 

Izaya had gotten into the habit of following his Senpai around quite easily. He already had plenty of experience observing his humans. So observing his newly chosen monster shouldn’t have been too different. It had taken some careful arrangement of his schedule though. As a second year, Senpai was on a different schedule than Izaya which made those observations he was able to make all the more precious.

 

Senpai, as it turned out, was a good student. Not necessarily the highest scoring student or particularly favored by the teachers, who all seemed intimidated by his presence. But Senpai tried. For whatever reason he seemed to care about his education and no matter what he ran into on the way to school, he always arrived in his homeroom to attend. Senpai would come in shoulders curled up defense, late, but still determined the skin of his knuckles scraped from the destruction he left in his wake. He paid attention in every class took notes, in his careful handwriting and turned in all his homework. Senpai should have been one of the better students in class, but no one could see past the torn uniform, the torn edges of his sleeves being the only hint of a fight, and the blond hair that stood out like a warning sign to all who would challenge him.

 

Or in Izaya’s case like the colorful plumage a bird uses to attract attention.

 

Not that Senpai was showy. Far from it. He was quiet. He kept to himself to the point of seeming almost shy. Not that his classmates gave him much of a chance for interaction to begin with. All were too aware of the rumors or had seen Senpai in action already. But even when he was with his friends, Senpai remained quiet. Senpai was loud, passionate, but when he was with his friends, away from his triggers he softened. His face eased to an almost peaceful expression and he remained quiet, gentle looking. Senpai seemed most content when he could remain quiet and just enjoy his friend’s presence.   
  
Senpai was a fan of routines, even as his behavior proved to be unpredictable there were certain things that he could be counted on to do. When confronted with a fight on school grounds he would curl up in a quiet corner like an injured animal hands holding chocolate he ate in an attempt at comfort. When lunch rolled around he would always eat something sweet. He seemed to especially favor melon bread, but any sweet would do putting him in an instantly better mood. When given a free period he would get on the top of the roof’s access and take naps on particularly sunny days. When school ended he would always leave quickly so he could meet up with his younger brother and move quickly in a vain hope to avoid confrontations.   
  
Izaya learned so much those first initial weeks he quickly ran out of paper in his notebooks and space in his phone. He had to buy a new card dedicated solely to his pictures of Senpai. The notebooks he recorded his observations in quickly became volumes. Where his individual humans would quickly grow boring after observing them for a set amount of time, Senpai only became more fascinating with each detail stirring up the new incessant hunger in Izaya.   
  
This new hunger and growing feeling of something was probably what led to his slip up.   
  
It took Izaya an embarrassingly long time to realize he even had and by that point it was too late. His new raging emotions were in part the cause, but he also suspected it had to with arrogance. Never before had he slipped up with a target. Never before had one of his humans noticed he was following them.   
  
Senpai as always, proved an exception to Izaya’s rules.   
  
Senpai's behavior seemed to change suddenly, like all his unpredictable behaviors Izaya was thrown on the exact source. But suddenly Senpai was making stops on the way home, lingering when he previously wouldn't have. Izaya chalked it up on him taking advantage of the strangely peaceful lull he'd fallen into recently. Then Senpai would start taking new ways home, turning suddenly down alleyways, turning the walk back into a maze of turns and strange decisions. When this failed to accomplish his goal one day out of nowhere Senpai froze and turned around to scan the area behind him. Just as abruptly the older boy started rushing back towards Izaya. Izaya had been forced to make more than a few rash actions, scaling a fire escape and falling onto the roof a slightly lower building to escape. It was then Izaya realized, embarrassed and palms stinging from the scraps of his quick escape, that Senpai had noticed his pursuit.   
  
He had, reluctantly, backed off to allow Senpai a few days walking home undisturbed.   
  
The inability to watch Senpai walk home--the time he saw him was so short already to lose observation time was agonizing--affected him more than he liked to admit. It left irritable and unable to focus in the classes he forced himself to attend to keep up appearances. Being in class felt like such a waste. Classes were useless, honestly the material was so simple it was laughable, most of the time in it he spent doing "independent reading" rather than paying any attention. The only reason he bothered to stay, to appear the good student was to keep the school from becoming too interested in his life. It was bothersome to have to deal with counselors and Izaya had no desire for any well-meaning adult to go prying in his business. It would only further limit his time.    
  
With school, the embargo on following Senpai home, keeping up his recent ties to the Underground, and taking care of the twins his time was already terribly limited. The only benefit of school was that as a private school Raira Academy ran on a different scheme than normal in Japan allowing him to opt out of classes and leaving him a blissful free period that coincided with Senpai's own and a lunch hour shared with Senpai's gym class that helped keep him sane.   
  
It was during his free period that Izaya realized Senpai had not given up on following him. Perhaps he was feeling a little reckless because he hadn't been able to follow Senpai freely in days, but the result was Izaya dogging Senpai's steps more closely than he would have. Senpai favored the library during his free period, a mixture of its quiet isolation and the warm scent that came from the cooking lab next door no doubt. Izaya had spent the past ten minutes following him one stack away noting the titles of the books he flipped through with interest as to what else they revealed about the inner workings of his beloved monster’s mind.

 

Feeling a bit bolder Izaya skipped to directly across from Senpai, the height difference and books allowing him to keep himself hidden. To cover his actions from outsiders her picked up a book, a book on Irish mythology, and absently opened it, bearing between the stacks to take in Senpai’s golden eyes intently focused on the detective novel he’d picked up.

 

Being so close was a rare moment and Izaya could count the lashes on his eyes, see the way Senpai’s brows drew together in confused distaste, and see the peek of natural brown at the very beginning of his wild blond mane.

 

“It stinks,” a voice growled out, a low grumbling sound, that made Izaya tense and melt all at once. 

 

The seeming non-sequitur was accompanied by a deeper furrowing on Senpai’s face and a deep inhale. Izaya gave his own barely audible sniff and wrinkled his own noise. All he could smell was the sweetness from the baking going on next door. A sweet scent that should have attracted Senpai, not repelled him.

 

Something in Izaya was sounding an alarm, but he ignored it too busy watching as Senpai’s whole body tensed and he transformed from something calm and quiet into the beast that had first attracted Izaya’s attention. It made every point in his body he’d tuned to keep an eye out for threat stand up in warning. At the same time it sent a much more pleasing shiver through him and his whole body lit up as he found himself not running away, but rather leaning closer to the danger. He pressed his chest to the bookshelf to watch Senpai’s leonine eyes look around the library with the sheer overwhelming threat of a predator stirred.

 

There was something in Izaya that actually purred at the sight. The proof that Senpai was far from the quiet, slightly awkward teenager he appeared to be when undisturbed. 

 

This,  _ this _ , was the Senpai he’d fallen in love with.

 

Then Izaya’s world was moving and the breath was gone as he found himself slammed into the shelving in front of him. His whole body shook from the blow, teeth vibrating, and mouth tasting wet and coppery. His tongue had been bitten. His face throbbed and lights danced over his left eye where it had hit the harsh wood. The books around him made a cacophony of thumping noises as they feel. His sternum ached and he felt a shelf digging into his chest and stomach keeping the air from coming back in. His feet were barely brushing the ground from being held suddenly impossibly aloft.

 

Through the pain and confusion the only thinking he could focus on were triumphant golden eyes looking directly into his own.

 

“Caught you,” Was growled out so low Izaya wouldn’t have caught it if not for where he was. He felt it run through him, up and down his body.

 

His mouth felt dry despite the pooling blood. His stomach felt emptied of more than air and he wasn’t sure he could have remembered how to breath even if he could have physically. It was too much, too much and too little. 

 

Now he knew that that impossible force grasping the front of his school uniform was Senpai’s hand. 

 

Numbly he pushed against it digging his nails in, just because he could just because it was  _ Senpai’s hand touching him _ . He braced his feet against the shelf and pushed back with everything he had. Nothing happened it didn’t even feel like Senpai noticed any resistance. 

 

It was like fighting a building. 

 

Izaya felt the budding alarm inside him distantly. He had been caught. He should be panicked. He should be looking for any escape. He should be concerned about the fact that Senpai knew he was following him.

 

Instead he was fighting not to smile, fighting back the shivers that were raking over him, the warmth crawling through him and making the thing inside him purr at the demonstration of the strength. He wanted to laugh, smile, giggle helplessly. Wanted to press impossibly closer to the heat Senpai was giving off and bask in it.

 

And that, that suicidal desire to give in, to press himself up against Senpai was what alerted him to the true danger here. Even if he had accepted his love the idea of being vulnerable and open to Senpai, before he had assured his love as his mother had taught him sent a more compelling wave of sensible fear to him. Being the focus of Senpai’s attention was intoxicating, but the idea of losing it forever was a threat enough to get him in motion.

 

During his building decision Senpai kept talking, growling out those threats that got Izaya shivering as he worked out his plan of escape.

 

“Do you think it’s funny to follow someone, eh? Think you can try and pick a fight with me? Is that what you want? Find out when I’m alone and fight the monster?”

 

_ No _ , Izaya felt the words on his tongue wanting to interject. To protest.  _ I want to see you, to know you, to  _ take  _ you. _

 

“What are you planning you little shit?” Izaya was pushed back, only the be slammed back into the shelf reapplying the bruise to his cheek and sending pain up and down his chest.

 

“Want to see what a monster can really do?”

 

Izaya couldn’t breathe, couldn’t escape, couldn’t feel anything beyond the licking heat where Senpai’s hand connected them through the shelving.

 

“What don’t I see your face before I break it?” Senpai growled out and another hand reached to push the books away to bring Izaya closer for a better look. And that, that got him moving.

 

Pulling the blade his mother had bought him as “protection” free of his pants he stabbed it with as much force as he could into the hand holding him. The blade stopped almost immediately, but it did seem to shock Senpai, making him glance down and giving Izaya a moment to collect himself. He pulled back and stabbed again. This time there was a flicker of annoyance and freshly burning rage on senpai’s face.

 

“ _ Ow _ ,” Senpai said, but there was something in the town that made it sound more like reflex than in response to any actually pain from a blade that barely went in deeply. It was only when Izaya stabbed him a third time and managed to get the soft skin connecting the thumb that Senpai gave a sincere hiss and reflexively loosened his grip. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for Izaya to duck back, slipping the jacket off and running rather than risk staying.

 

His heart was thumping wildly as he grabbed a jacket left lying on a chair on the way out and flew towards the classroom. He expected to hear the thunder of Senpai in pursuit and the idea sent a thrill through him. Instead though he heard the voice of the librarian over the quiet. Izaya rushed up the stairs and by the time he got to the relative safety of the roof he was shaking and gasping for breathe. His hand were red and his knife was quickly tucked into his pocket.

 

Senpai had noticed him. Senpai had looked at him, seen him. Izaya allowed himself one moment to close his eyes and think of those blazing eyes focused on him. He took another shaky breath and went numbly to the sink, watching regretfully as the red washed away. He couldn’t bring himself to try a wash away the blood on his sleeve staining the white a lovely crimson. Instead he tucked the slightly over long sleeve to hide it and vowed to cut the stain off and add to his collection.

 

Tomorrow, he would deal with the implications of Senpai knowing about his existence if not identity. For now he would head home early. He could call in as his “father” to alert to school to the sudden sickness that had taken Izaya. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike Senpai in the games I cannot see Shizuo failing to notice that he is being stalked. Especially when it's Izaya doing it.


	3. Senpai (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya spends time with his sisters, returns to school, and learns of some startling developments he'd missed.

The next week was agonizing.

  
  
It wasn't that the pain was particularly bothering Izaya. Though there was that. He had been treated quickly by the family doctor, who was crazy but competent and quiet. He'd supplied all the excuses Izaya needed for some time off and some pain medication for the deeper bruising on his chest. The man had cheerfully informed him that he'd thought Izaya had broken a rib with how dark and ugly the bruising was directly over his stomach and sternum. For his black eyes and cheek Izaya had been tossed an ice pack.

  
  
Izaya found the bruising fascinating and far from ugly as it had been described. He'd been unable to stop himself from touching them. These visible proofs of Senpai's attention and touch. The deep purples and blues stood out like blooming forget-me-nots and violets. He would lay down and brush his fingers over them gentle feeling the warm sensation of the pain and drawn back to the toe curling moment of Senpai's golden eyes on him. He'd been slightly embarassed by his poetic wording that he mocked in others. But the bruises were his only current connection to Senpai as cut off as he was and he was fibding himself shameless in his affections.

  
  
It wad his only solace in his self-imposed exile to regroup and plan.

  
  
His little sisters had a very different reaction to his time home and colorful decorations. Their incistant questions had been ignored and twisted around easily. Though this led to Mairu coming up with increasingly ridiculous stories that explained them. They ranged from the initial accusation that Izaya had involved himself with an abusive boyfriend and had devolved into the theory that "Iza-nii" was secretly an assassin and his last mark had been a powerful martial artist who had almost won the fight. It made Izaya briefly consider more closely monitoring the girls television choices, but honestly he was not of the belief that it harmed children and simply found it an interesting look into humanity.

  
  
The questions he could easily throw off, but the clinginess that came with his recovery at home was a bother. Upon realizing that their brother was not leaving the house for the evenings after settling them in and would be there all the time they instantly began demanding more attention.

  
  
Mairu began to very loudly give him excruitiatingly detailed retellings of her day with Kururi clinging to his otherside. Playtime and dress up was now a demanded activity every evening where it had once been an occasional treat. They became fussy without being personally tucked in and now wanted bedtime stories. Izaya supplied his own with stories he'd picked up from his new fledgling career and the girls appeared satsfied with that. The only princess story he'd been forced to tell had wound up being about a clever princess who fell in love with a monster and trapped the monster until he fell in love with her as well. This one became their favorite. They even became disturbingly affectionate demanding hugs before school and bed time.

  
  
Izaya was beginning to think he was spoiling them, but it was easier to give in and have some entertainment from his annoying sisters than to spend the entire week focused on what he couldn't have.

  
  
When the week ended and his bruise faded enough to be covered by makeup he had a new plan he was eager to begin and breathless at the thought of seeing Senpai again.

  
  
Dressing was irritating, but finished quickly. He had been looking forward to this for what felt like an eternity. He reflected eagerly on the possibilities as he cooked breakfast. Pancakes to make sure the twins were bearable with all the pouting they'd been doing about his return to school.

  
  
How would Senpai react to his return? Had he relaxed with the absence of his stalker?

 

Izaya carefully laid the pancake molds onto the pan that the twins had demanded he buy. Dog shapes for Mairu and cats for Kururi

  
  
Had he been searching for the person who'd dared make him bleed? Would he be trying to track Izaya down?

  
  
Pancake batter was carefully poured into each mold. Izaya made sure not to overload them so the wouldn't come out with wrong shapes. Kururi always quietly pouted when it wasn't right, which meant Mairu loudly protested in her sister's defense.

  
  
Searching for information on him as Izaya searched for anything on Senpai? How much did Senpai even have to go on besides the color of his eyes and the fact the went to the same school?

  
  
Izaya leaned his wrist away as the oil popped and the batter cooked. Kururi's was removed as soon as it had become fluffy and golden. Mairu's he let linger a little longer becoming crunchier as she preferred despite her protests she wanted the same as "Kuru-nee".

  
  
Plenty of students had brown eyes and black hair so that wasn't much to go on. Admittedly he had a strange shade of brown that looked more red in certain lights, but he doubted any of his classmates had ever gotten close enough to look. Besides Senpai that is.

  
  
The girls pancakes were arranged on their breakfast plates, Mairu's green and Kururi's blue, and quickly topped with cherries (for Kururi) and half-strawberries (for Mairu) eyes and a syrupy smile. Izaya placef each plate in front of the girls' chairs with small bowls with additional syrup for dipping of bites. He leaned back against the counter grabbing an apple to eat as the shuffling of feet announced the twins had come to breakfast.

  
  
Would he be hunting Izaya with that same predatory focus? And, oh, that thought sent a shiver down Izaya's back and a smile to his face. Being the absolute focus of not just Senpai's explosive rage, but concentrated focus was thrilling and sent Izaya's insides boiling and purring.

  
  
( _"Happy?"_  
  
_"Yeah, it's annoying. I knew he got a boyfriend."_  
  
_"Senpai."_  
  
_"I guess. The shrine is pretty obvious. It's gotta be him."_  
  
_"Okaa-san. Talk."_  
  
_"You're so smart Kuru-nee! Okaa-san could definitely help Iza-nii get his man. Will tell her about him next time she calls!"_  
  
_"Smile."_  
  
_"...Iza-nii does look like Okaa-san when he smiles like that. I didn't know he could."_  
  
_"Nice."_  
  
_"Yeah, it is. Even if it does mean he's not gonna play with us as much."_ )

  
  
Izaya ate his apple content with his daydreams and ignored the suspicious muttering his sisters were doing. They were still only six, whatever they were talking about couldn't be too bad. Besides he was going to see Senpai today, not even annoying, confusing sisters could ruin that.

  
  
...

  
  
The twins had been quickly dispatched at their school, though they had both demanded hugs before they would accept their lunch boxes and his departure. The familiar sight of the school gate and quiet chatter of his humans made Izaya smile.

  
  
The air felt a little different already and Izaya knew that Senpai was closeby. Out of sight, but near enough to find and observe, to hear and see and touch. If only Izaya made the effort. Izaya ducked his head to hide his widening smile and the slight finch as it tugged at the lingering but hidden bruise on his cheek.

  
  
Some of Izaya's classmates gave polite greetings as he passed close enough to draw their attention, but over all he was ignored. Just as Izaya preferred it, neither liked or disliked enough for trouble.

 

When Izaya slipped into his homeroom to head to his seat he had not expected much beyond the quiet greetings and socially required questions about his health. Even the Class Rep blushing and lingering at his desk was well within his expectations. Eventually he was able to dislodge himself from her conversation, she was a rather boring example of humanity for all her mildly intriguing interest in him and Izaya's own affection for her as a human.

  
  
It was only as he was settling in comfortably that he noticed the change or rather the addition. Looking over at him curiously from across the room was an unfamiliar, clearly foreign, and pretty face. She had a rather sweet delicate face, smooth white skin, short light brown hair, and blue eyes that were focused on Izaya. She was clearly new and despite the interest this should have caused her desk was empty of greeters and the curious.

  
  
Izaya felt a familiar flicker of interest at this unexpected sight. She was pretty enough that going with her foreign origins that her sheer novelty should have kept interest far longer than the week Izaya had been gone even if her personality was unpleasant or dull. Izaya Izaya gave his best attempt at a politely warm smile and too his surprise instead of relaxing or blushing as he would have expected she looked uneasy and turned away as if he'd offered an insult instead.

  
  
Even more interesting, he wouldn't put to much effort into her for now. He had more important things, people, to focus on, but this new student would be a good time killer for later. He looked down to skim through a the packet he'd been given not taking in the words but listening to the gossip.

  
  
Senpai he heard from a fearful group to the right had been on a warpath since he left. He had apparently broken the shoulder of some first year name Nakura for not wearing a jacket only to apologize to the terrified boy later for "mixing him up". Apparently it had only gotten worse from there and Senpai had been on short fuse and growling at every opportunity. Izaya smiled. Senpai it seemed had missed him and had taken to glaring carefully at every first year boy he saw. This now led to a growing fear among his classmates that he had some grudge against their class and the slightest offense would land you in the hospital. What's more Senpai was not only haunting the library during his free time, but being forced to work their as "community service" for fighting and damaging it during Izaya's flight.

  
  
How Senpai had discovered he was a first year Izaya wasn't sure, but he was pleased. All Senpai had now was a small sized jacket and his year. More than he'd hoped, but it was just enough to keep things interesting. And if Senpai thought he appeared in the library he couldn't disappoint him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a bit of a transitional chapter to the next part. Plus an introduction of a mystery character (though I think y'all will guess pretty easily) and some of the Orihara household since his family is gone be a pretty big part of it.


	4. Senpai (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya checks out a book and realizes he hadn't planned for everything.

 Raira Academy’s library, like most of its facilities, had been redone in the recent movement to improve their reputation and become one of the better schools in the area. Along with the name change they had thought an entire reconstruction of the grounds could help disassociate them with their past. Where once it had been a small space off to the side, it had been increased into an open spacious area with a welcome desk and study section in the back. More important to Izaya, its collection had been drastically expanded and the windows allowed for a pleasant view of the sports fields, most of the club rooms, and the favored areas for students to interact in free time. It was the perfect quiet place for human observation.

 

Now those extensive stacks were proving, yet again, to be a wonderful place to watch his Senpai from. He had been lingering in the 900’s for a good while now, going back and forth between the Language and Literature sections and peeling over at the desk where Senpai set out in the open from all sides.

 

When Izaya had pictured Senpai working in the library, it had been with the image of him in the stacks doing the lifting. Izaya had thought Senpai would be out of the way doing private work without any chance of being agitated by the student body. Izaya was certain it should be obvious Senpai was not someone cut out for customer service occupations.

 

And yet he was working the welcome desk.

 

It was a bewildering sight to see his Senpai sitting behind the neat space, hair like a beacon and scowl permanently in place as he glowered at anyone who dared to have an overdue book. Izaya could hear the familiar rumble in his voice start up as he checked one boy out and reminded him to return his book because it was a month overdue and people were waiting to check it out so didn’t he think he was being _inconsiderate_ of others by not returning it on time. By the time Senpai was done the boy was shaking and fled the library in terror.

 

Izaya was somewhat amused.

 

It must have been like when man had first attempted to tame the wolf. Bringing a beast that would have normally hunted you into your home and expecting it to act civilized would have seemed madness. Trapping Senpai in polite society by working the welcome desk was a similar endeavor.

 

Izaya had thought before he had come. Had planned his initial approach. Admittedly he’d assumed Senpai and his first conversation, if it should ever occur, would be long after Izaya was certain that he knew everything about him. Izaya was good at making first impressions. He was an expert at becoming non-threatening and friendly to put people at ease. Talking to Senpai and leaving a good first impression should have been nothing. Izaya was not popular, but he certainly wasn’t unpopular. He was known for being intelligent, having the highest scores in class and winning awards. He was athletic enough to win when Sports Days were held and be ask to occasionally assist at clubs. He was responsible and trusted enough to have been Vice-President of the Student Council all through middle school. That reputation had followed him and he shouldn’t be concerned about the initial approach.

 

But all his original plans had hinged around Senpai not being aware of him. He had underestimated Senpai’s observation skills and knew he should wait to observe more. His Senpai was unpredictable and was perhaps the only one who left Izaya guessing at their behavior. He simply didn’t know if Senpai was safe to approach with how he didn’t know how Senpai had discovered the class year of his stalker.

 

The temptation was too much though. On one hand Senpai was aware and the idea of rejection sent something in him panicking. But Senpai was _aware_ and focused on him and Izaya was too hedonistic in his newly discovered feelings and greedy in personality to ignore this fact. Especially with Senpai knowing adding a new element to the game.

 

Senpai had surprised him once again. It was _fun_.

 

Izaya glanced over the bookshelf before settling on what to check out with a smile.

 

Izaya had already been fond of lingering in the library long before Senpai came into his life. Much like he had long enjoyed observing others and finding out the full details of them until he grew bored and moved on. The library was a place to access research on the topics that interested his humans and to learn more about humans from the books they wrote about themselves. Every book told as much about it’s author as it did about the subject it was about, Izaya found. A nonfiction book could be dry and condescending or informative with just enough humanity mixed with facts to connect to the audience. It was like reading a tiny glimpse into his human's minds and Izaya delighted in it.

 

His place in the also benefitted in keeping up his loner reputation without the social determinants of delinquency. After all no one was likely to complain about a student studying _more_ and seeming to focus on grades and studies allowed his humans to label him and therefore feel more relaxed around him. Less threatened and more willing to open up.

 

So, seeing him in the library had not stood out and had allowed him to sneak around more easily. It was in the process of his initial investigation that he’d looked into whatever school records he could get a hold of. That included Senpai’s list of books he checked out.

 

 _The Curious Casebook of Inspector Hanshichi: Detective Stories of Old Edo_ . That was the book that caught his eye and one of the books Senpai had checked out multiple times. Senpai had a fondness for mystery novels. Izaya would frequently track Senpai's reading habits and read the books after Senpai had finished. Trying to get a clear image of Senpai's taste had proved difficult though. He was actually a surprisingly big reader and his selection was so varied Izaya had only been able to pick up a few consistencies. Mysteries were frequent, authors had to have an engaging voice, and he seemed to prefer happy endings.   
  
Getting a book Senpai was known to favor would paint him in a more approachable light and give him a reason to approach without standing out too much.  Initial contact would be important to decide the next step in his plan.

 

Izaya relaxed his posture to something no threatening and careful drew out the reading glasses he rarely used, placing them on his nose. He ruffled his hair to allow some of it to fall in his face and brought up his most nonthreatening, friendly smile.

 

He made sure to give himself a careful sniff beforehand. He was met with a light, floral scent with a hint of vanilla falling heavy. He reeled reeked of it and where it might of given him a delicate, feminine scent now he smelled like he'd rolled around in flowers. Not necessarily bad but it overpowered everything else. He hadn't forgotten Senpai's apparent ability to identify him by scent of all things and had pondered on the idea of whether the increased strength included other increased abilities. So he had borrowed the perfume. He would have to look into other alternatives to masking his scent, but for now this would do.

 

By the time Izaya got to the welcome desk he realized he had forgotten one crucial detail.

 

His own bodily reactions to being so close to Senpai. He made Izaya feel everything to the zenith and the issue was only exasperated by his close presence. When golden eyes settled on him it felt like his heart was hammering in his throat, his gaze was forced away from Senpai’s before they could make eye contact, and a familiar prickle broke out over his skin as he felt the aggression coiling up under the skin of the older boy in front of him. His fingers trembled slightly at the overwhelming urge to do something and he felt, shamefully, his trembling intensify under the glare focused on him.

 

Izaya passed the book over to Senpai silently and when it was taken their hand brushed together softly, igniting the skin where they touched. Izaya jerked his hand away from the contact, ducking it behind his back fist curling and pressing the contact into the small of his back. ( **_SenpaitouchedhimSenpaitouchedhim_ ** ) His heart hammered and the crushing realization of his fatal weakness angered him.

 

In front of him he heard a very distinct crunch of wood breaking under hands. A quick glance showed that one of Senpai’s hands had buried his fingers into the desk in front of him. Another look showed Senpai’s face to be furious, but there was a deeper emotion underneath it that Izaya struggled to identify. The book was stamped and Senpai held out the card for him to sign.

 

Their hands brushed again as Izaya took the card and pen. Izaya felt his cheeks flush pink under the second contact and this lead to a snarl from Senpai, which made Izaya freeze where he was writing the _hara_ kanji. The voice that spoke was shaking with very thinly constrained rage and left a shiver going through him.

 

“ _Look first-year_ , stop being so fucking scared,” Senpai all but barked and Izaya was helpless to not look up into confusion to see both Senpai’s fists clenched into fists. “I’m not, I’m not going to just beat you up.  I’m not a _monster_ . So stop _pissing me off before I change my mind_.”

 

Izaya was pulled in a few different directions by that. Firstly, was amusement at Senpai’s demand, just stop feeling fear of the fantastical impossible monster in front of him. As if fear was something so easily dismissed. Second, was confusion, because Izaya was far from scared. Third, was the understanding as he realized what his trembling must have looked like. And fourth was the slight tinge of disappointment that Senpai hadn't recognized him.

 

There was a long moment of terse silence, before Izaya forced his dry mouth to form words that came out honest in his initial confusion.

 

“I’m not afraid of Senpai.” Izaya said and the entire form in front of him froze. Izaya froze in return. He cursed himself, those were not the words he’d carefully planned. Full of  humiliation at just how badly his conduct had become Izaya did not quite flee. He did not want to give Senpai the chance to recover and react to his behavior.

 

He left in a rush, pride smarting from everything distinctly _not_ going according to plan and careful categorizing Senpai’s expression trying to recall if he’d seen it before.

 

Next time, next time he would handle it better.

  
Though he would need to come up with a plan to handle his own emotions. Izaya was not an expert at handling situations like this. Scowling he realized he may need to seek outside help. Izaya was going to need to talk to his _friends_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so short and not even close to what I originally intended. Writer's blocks kicked my ass. 
> 
> Oh and I realize Izaya's reaction was slightly ooc, but that is my take on Izaya reacting like Yan-chan in game.
> 
> Thankfully the next chapter is mostly planned and already started. I think I've got a handle how to do the rest of this part of the story. It's been going pretty slow so far, but hey they talked again that's something yeah?


	5. Senpai (Part 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya introduces one of his friends.

Izaya had, after his decision to appear normal and his realization of his first love, realized he would need friends. It was best to appear as normal as possible to put people at ease. Being completely alone did have benefits, but one or two friends was the best way to “fit in”. It had been his mother’s advice when Izaya had fully explained his plan. It had been incredibly helpful over the years as Izaya had found himself wanting to observe his humans without putting them on edge.

 

But he also hadn’t wanted to be too bored with his relationships either. He loved all his humans, but many grew dull after awhile. As such he had favorites, many of those he had followed before hand were left alone once he understood them, but those most interesting he decided to approach in friendship.

 

That was where Yagiri Namie and Kadota Kyohei had come into play.

 

Namie was a year older than him and had been his senpai in middle school. The girl had come from a wealthy family, been high achieving and scoring, her intelligence was nothing to scoff at, and what’s more she was fairly attractive. Namie should have been popular, accept she was famously cold and aloof from the rest of the school. It had been something that interested him. The  _ answer _ had just been even more surprising. Izaya had gotten close to Namie during his tenure as Vice President, joining to keep a closer eye on her. It was only during a trip to deliver papers to her home that he’d discovered what was going. 

 

Namie it turned out was a very lonely individual. Left completely alone without any parental love or friendship she had clung to the nearest thing. Her little brother. It was during their time in middle school, when Namie was her most snippy and unresponsive to humanity, that the realization had began to dawn on the girl that her feelings were transcending those appropriately labelled “familial”.

 

It was terribly interesting. The perfect cold princess struggling with incestuous love for her five year old brother? Izaya could not have invented a more twisted revelation. Namie hid it well, but Izaya was far too used to his family's “unique” relationship to not pick up on the way Namie melted into goo around little Seiji.

 

That realization and Namie’s struggle against it had lead to an even more  _ interesting _ twist. Namie as desperate to fight against those feelings and so she attempted to “get over them”. 

 

She asked Izaya to date.

 

And Izaya had said yes. 

 

There had been a lot of factors around it. The biggest had been curiosity on how this would go with Namie’s complete and total lack of interest in him. There had also been smaller influences in his peers had noticed his interactions with their “pretty senpai” and began making jokes about crushes and dates. This had been a time where his agemates had first started pairing off, so at least the appearance of a similar interest would help his “normal” cover, while Namie provided an entertaining and non-interested cover.

 

They were both using each other, though it had taken Namie longer to realize it. 

 

Namie had been furious when she had learned he  _ knew  _ and insisted she hate him. They had kept up the charade of “close friends and former lovers” as it benefitted them both. Izaya still found Namie entertaining and enjoyed someone he was not expected to be “normal” around. Izaya suspected she had developed a grudging appreciation for the company on the same maturity level for all her love of her brother, he suspected she was still a lonely individual when the boy was still too young to match her in many ways.

 

Finding her was easy, for all her interesting nature she was as predictable as an other of his well-known humans. She had been the Vice-President of the School Council since she had arrived to high school a year ahead of him. A way to kill time until Seiji was released from his after school activities. 

 

He ignored the greetings of his classmates, the energy of the encounter still thrumming under his skin, and leaving him impatient. He could not keep up his polite mask with so much trapped inside him. Namie would be a safe alternative to be able to vent his more “inappropriate” feelings towards without his mother present. And what’s more she despite her own antisocial feelings had a better understanding of expression in a socially acceptable way. She simply chose not to.

 

His fingers twitched, feeling the warm phantom sensation of rough finger brushing his own. He clenched them trying the chase away the sensation. His breath was coming in quicker and all he could do was go back to golden eyes staring down at him and his complete failure. It went beyond anything Izaya had expected and it left him reeling in the aftermath.

 

Izaya focused on calming his breathing. It wouldn’t due for Namie to realize how truly emotional he was feeling. He may be willing to consult her opinions on the matter, but that did not mean he needed to give her any ammunition.

 

He stepped into the Student Council Office confident he looked normal and promptly found his face bouncing off something hard and the world tip as he fell backwards. He was only stopped by a bruising force creeping to tops of both his arms and pulling him back up. The instant he righted himself the strength in the grip softened.

 

For one split second Izaya’s breath stuttered, but then he looked to find not the fierce golden eyes of his Senpai, but soft ashy grey eyes framed in a classically handsome face of an older student. He wasn’t anyone interesting. Just the Student Council President, who Namie had a bitter grudge against for beating her, and a human who was remarkable only in his strangely friendly nature. 

 

The boy’s expression brightened when he recognized him and Izaya fought the urge to scowl. Settling on respectful, despite how more difficult than normal it was proving.

 

“Orihara-kun, I didn’t know you were coming to help today. It’s been awhile since you’ve stopped by.” The boy gave him a sincere smile that Izaya had at first mistaken the warmth for flirting, only to discover he greeted everyone in a similar manner.

 

“Hajime-senpai,” Izaya greeted and unable to see passed the boy’s broader form. “Is Namie-chan here? I need to talk with her.”

 

This got him a nod and the boy to move to reveal Namie grabbing papers and separating them into folders without glancing over them for more than a second and tucking in the filled folders into the filing cabinets.

 

“Is that a new cologne?” Hajime said lightly as Izaya passed and it reminded him how overpowering his smell must be right now. 

 

“Perfume,” Namie corrected without looking up. “Poppy by Kenzo.”

 

Hajime looked up the perfect picture of innocent interest and nodded. Thankfully, he seemed to be picking up on Izaya’s distinct lack of social mood and left with a lingering look and a polite good-bye.

 

“If you’re going to borrow my perfume with explanation after not talking to me for weeks you could at least explain.” Namie announced dryly, finishing her task and looking at him expectantly. Izaya slipped the delicate bottle into her hand without comment.

 

“I have an explanation, but first I need your  _ advice _ .” 

 

Namie perked up eyes looking interested.

 

“ _ You _ need advice?” The tone was doubtful and combined with her raised eyebrow made the perfect image of disbelief.

 

Izaya rolled his eyes. “Yes, Namie-chan. Advice. I can admit sometimes others have more experience in certain areas than I do.”

 

She looked unconvinced at this, but picked up her bag and checked her watch. “You have forty-five minutes until Seiji gets out of soccer.”

 

“Good. But first we need to grab someone else.”

 

“Who?”

 

“I can hardly talk about boys without Dotachin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness so short, but it was the first week of class, so I needed to write something to make myself keep going. Hopefully the next chapter will be much longer now that I have the hang of my schedule. No Shizuo this chapter, but next time. Next time. 
> 
> I feel like I need to rewatch the anime and reread to get a better handle on Namie. I love her relationship with Izaya and want to express it the best I can.
> 
> Look forward to next episode in which we get love advice from Namie and Kadota, Shizuo makes an appearance, and there is still no murder, despite it being a murder game.


	6. Interlude: Dotachin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief glimpse of Kadota Kyohei's mind.

Kadota Kyohei had not meant to become Izaya’s friend. For the longest time he had, in fact, wished he could go back in time and find out whatever he had done to encourage this behavior and stop it in its infancy.

_(Not really though, Kyohei was never one to leave someone in their loneliness and for all his faults Izaya was lonely. His mother said he had a gentle heart, though that was usually followed by a worry he would marry a man that took advantage of him. His mother for whatever reason was firmly convinced he was some_ shojo _heroine or a character in Karisawa’s BL manga. A concept he did not enjoy contemplating over much.)_

 

After a couple years though he did understand why he had found himself as one of the few people who could claim to know the real Izaya. He strongly suspected he probably knew a bit more about Izaya than the boy was aware of or would particularly approve of him knowing. For all he recognized Izaya’s insanity he wasn’t too worried though. The boy, though he claimed to love everyone equally when he was being particularly open about his true self, was clearly possessive of those he had singled out as his.

 

The fact was Izaya would never approach someone else with friendship. No, to become Izaya’s friend you had to preemptively come prepared to accept and like him. He was kind of like a wary cat that would only approach if you stayed very still and let it control the pace. So, Kyohei had setting himself around the lonely boy and making overtures calmly and continuously. It had taken awhile, but slowly Izaya had warmed up to him.

 

Though the fact that warming up to him had involved weeks of stalking and background checks into him Kyohei was sure Izaya was not aware he knew about. Karisawa, who was one of the people Izaya approached, had been thrilled at the idea that a _boy_ had taken an interest in him. She had been a little too enthusiastic in telling Izaya every detail about him and connecting him to others who could as well.

 

He still wasn’t sure which one of them had come up with the nickname they both now insisted upon. He had initially blamed Karisawa, but further exposure showed a previously unknown annoying streak and made him suspect Izaya was the true origin.

 

He had grown used to weird requests and situations. As Izaya’s only reliable consultant for humanity it came with the territory.

 

( _He strongly suspected Yagiri offered advice as well, but knowing her as well as he did now Kyohei did not usually consider her solutions_ reliable.)

 

This one was not as easy as Izaya’s desire to suddenly know parkour or long explanations about the morals involved in not stalking people into their homes.

 

“You want love advice?” Kyohei confirmed, not sure and somewhat hoping that he had misheard.

 

Izaya nodded an odd new smile on his face. It was a lot more real than his usual ones. It was somewhat twisted like Izaya was himself, but more honest than anything Kyohei had seen from him. There was something slightly dark and concerning in those eyes that flashed a little red. The honesty though was what gave him pause.

 

Izaya was a brilliantly crafted lie that liked to occasionally show peeks behind his masks. Even Kyohei, who was one of the few who saw behind or even recognized the masks existence, did not fully understand Izaya.

 

There was always a barrier that Izaya kept in place. A distance that prevented connection.

 

Honesty and a desire to connect was something Izaya did not show.

 

That more than anything else made Kyohei suspect the seriousness of the situation and that it went beyond Izaya’s newest and fleeting fascination. Izaya gaining a human connection and experiencing actual feelings of love, not just his weird obsession with humanity. That could only be a good thing right?

 

This, Kyohei realized must have been why Izaya had been strangely quiet the past month.

 

Kyohei wondered who in the world could in snare Izaya’s attention of all people and make him willing to discuss feelings with people.

 

Kyohei groaned when he realized what this meant. He was going to have to talk about _boys_ with Izaya and Yagiri Namie, who was looking over Izaya at him with her usual expression of dismissal and misanthropy. More feelings and connections would help his friend become, if not a good person, at least more human.

 

And Kyohei considered Izaya a friend for all his faults.

 

“Let’s go somewhere private.” Kyohei decided, feeling grim and determined and praying Karisawa and his mother _never_ learned about what he was about to do.

 

They did not need anything to feed into their delusions about his sexuality or place in the world.

 

“Who is this guy anyway?” Kyohei asked Yagiri as they followed Izaya to one of his hideaways. The girl gave him a cool look, but answered with the distinct tone that Kyohei was an idiot for not realizing.

 

“Heiwajima.”

 

Kyohei barely restrained himself from groaning out loud. That led to a whole new slew of concerning thoughts that he was not ready to deal with and put Shizuo’s complaints and seeming paranoia the past month into a whole new light. Izaya could not have chosen someone normal could he?

 

They would either kill each other or everyone else at this rate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am alive. Hello everyone I have missed this story and I'm so glad to be back. Not a full chapter but I'm getting back into the swing of things and we get our first outsider's glimpse of Yandere Izaya. Plus who doesn't love Dotachin. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has offered their kudos, comments, and bookmarked this. I am happy that others enjoy this silly idea I came up with. Happy Thanksgiving, if I don't post anything else before then!

**Author's Note:**

> So I finally wrote Shizaya, but, of course, it winds up being this. Why I chose my debut fic to be one in which I kill off my favorites or at least make them suffer a lot I don't know, but here we are.
> 
> This fic is gonna be pretty lowkey, me learning how to write as these characters. I'm still learning their characterization. So if they seem OoC this is why, though there have been subtle adjsutments to Izaya to fit the lore of the game, which is Yandere Simulator. I am hoping this will help me grow into them, before tackling other projects. I will probably come back and edit it after Camp NaNo, which it is being written for, is over. 
> 
> Fair warning like the game this story is also definitely horror written from the "monster" POV, so there is gonna be a lot of Creepy!Izaya doing really disturbing things. Very not pretty things will happen to characters.
> 
> Tips for characterization, helpful critiques, and comments are welcome and appreciated.


End file.
